The task of meeting Jboy’s family, burial arrangement and everyother
thing was squarely on me. I just couldn’t find where to begin, how to
start or which way to go about it all. I was so lost and empty. Mary
wanted to lend me a supporting hand. She promised to help me with
everything, but i simply refused to oblige her, instead asked her to
give me a little time.

I pleaded with her to stay away from me for the
meantime which greatly surprised her. She couldn’t believe her ears as i
made the passionate plea just a day after Jboy’s unfortunate death.
“no you can’t be making such a request right now. You need me. We need
each other. We need to help each other out of this trauma” she protested
seriously, failing to realise that the trauma itself increased my
disdain towards her. In a way i blamed her for my friend’s death because
if she hadn’t been in my apartment that fateful day nor delayed us with
her toilet perhaps Jboy wouldn’t have been attacked. “well i have no choice than to honour your request, if it will make you
better” she finally agreed when she saw how serious i was, wiped her
eyes with a handkerchief before walking away.

I felt her anguish but i
just couldn’t do anything about it. I summoned up courage and called
Chioma soon after. It really was my first time of calling her after she
unceremoniously left me at the restaurant hours before Jboy’s death. I
quietly revealed the news to her. She instantly screamed with shock. “oh
bloody hell!, and you are just telling me about it after how many hours
huh?. I’m coming over” she cried and hung up while i hopefully waited
for her.
Learning that she was coming sort of lightened up my spirit. Till today i
really can’t describe the kind of love i felt and still feel for her.
Thirty minutes later she showed up at my apartment with tears in her
eyes. She instantly hugged me, crying seriously. “i can’t believe Jboy
is gone. He was such a wonderful friend. I could have lost you too.
Karma is now on you guys. It’s a pity Jboy paid with his life. You have
to seek peace with God urgently” she cried, sending more fear into my
troubled heart.
“do you?, do you believe in karma?, does it exist?” i stammered. “of
course the evil that men do often comes back to them. You see i wasn’t
wrong condenming what you did to that lady.

You have to seek peace with
God my dear” she summarized seriously, while i nervously made the sign
of the cross. “could she be right?” i asked myself over and over.
Believe me, It really wasn’t easy meeting Jboy’s parents who were so
alarmed and bitter over their son’s death. I had to play a role i have
never played in my life.
I tried to best to console them especially his mother who cried
uncontrollably. I made promises too hard for me to handle. I promised to
foot the mortuary bills and arrange for his funeral without thinking
deep on the effect it will have on the little money i had left. I guess i
was overcome with grief that very moment to think properly. However the
pain of losing their son never stopped them from asking prying
questions, they virtually asked every necessary question to the extent
of asking if he was engaged to anyone. I answered all the questions with
great intelligence, making sure my answers were accurate and less

We really had a long discussion before they headed home,
leaving me with the huge task of organising my friend’s burial just like
i promised.
Seriously i never believed i would be the one burying Jboy In just a
short length of strong friendship. Well that was his fate, such a bad
one. He never got to enjoy life like he wanted. Yea i was so depressed
over the whole thing, but as a young guy i stood strong like a warrior
while on the inside i shook like a frightened school girl.
Seeking peace with God was such a good idea but i just wasn’t ready
because i was yet to find a way to wrap things up with Mary. I couldn’t
go asking God to forgive and take me back while still nursing a deadly
feeling for another person. If as Chioma said, ‘karma was the force
behind it all. Then i could be the next.
Mary welcomed me happily when i got to her apartment. She gave me her
usual killing hug before letting me in. “i have rice, i have soup,
what’s your choice?” she asked with a smile, “just a cup of water
please” i replied with a nervous smile. She quietly served me without
asking any further question. “so how are you dealing with Jboy’s stuff?”
she asked curiously after a while.

I breathed deeply and quietly told
her almost everything that needed to be told. “you are really a good
person. You know some friends will simply move on without bothering to
help” she said with admiration while i nodded and cleared my throat. “so
about the discussion i promised you. I’m now ready for it” i opened the
topic bravely.
My new plan was to find a way of telling her a bit of the truth
concerning my real feelings just like Chioma wanted even though i knew
it was far from being easy. Since Jboy wasn’t available anymore and i
had the slightest clue on how to carry on with the old plan alone. I had
no choice than to restrategize.
“fine, alright” she breathed slowly, her expression quickly growing more
serious. “you know i have been indifferent to you since i got out of
jail?” i murmured.

She nodded curiously. “it’s just as a result of the
things that have happened between us these past few weeks. I can’t
really explain further but do believe that I’m trying hard to
reciprocate your love and everything. But it isn’t easy for me, so don’t
just expect anything more for now” i poured out hesitantly while she
stared at me with shock.
“you are kidding me right?, i don’t understand a word of what you just
said?” she asked hotly, her colour rapidly changing. “The promises i
made while in jail was simply for you to drop the case and set me free,
that notwithstanding, i do care for you from the bottom of my heart” i
pleaded to calm her down, “i still don’t get you, but i think i’m
beginning to understand” she hissed with pain.
“so our relationship was never meant to be. You just came to take
advantage of me like other guys huh. Now i understand, the breakup,
pregnancy, abortion, get together and promises were just a ploy” she
cried, while i freaked out.

I quickly regretted following Chioma’s
advice. It was all wrong opening up to her so soon without being
prepared for the resultant effect..
“Sometimes doing the right thing is not always right” i reasoned. I
quickly drew close and held her. “please be reasonable and understand
me. Those were my feelings for you but everything has now changed
because i’m trying hard to love you. At least you can appreciate my
honesty” i poured out solemnly. “is our story really going to have a
happy ending?, should i move on with my life?” she asked bitterly while i
swallowed hard. “please answer me, do i still have hope with you?, or
am i simply wasting the little time i have left?” she asked seriously,
her eyes melting with grief and disappointment. I was suddenly faced
with a difficult question.
Yes it was difficult because my answer will definitely define the next
stage of our relationship. Unfortunately, i chickened out.


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